


They Call Me Doctor Love

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor takes Clara to bed and regales her with tales of some of his past conquests.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Call Me Doctor Love

**Author's Note:**

> The bulk of the story takes place before Name of the Doctor; the last part takes place between Name and Day of the Doctor. Spoilers for Name of the Doctor, Parting of the Ways, Journey's End, Cold Blood.  
> Most of the pairings listed are mentioned and described only.

“You should probably know,” the Doctor said as Clara unclipped his braces, “that you will not be my first.”

“I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, given that you are over twelve-hundred years old,” she said agreeably, not slowing down as she sat to tug off one of her boots. “To be fair, you won't be my first either.” She licked her lips, half-consciously, thinking of Nina. 

“What I mean is, well,” he wrung his hands, “it seems that, lately, I've been sleeping with most of the people I've been traveling with. Well, nearly all of them, actually. Come to think of it, I haven't really missed one in quite some time.” He grinned and raised his eyebrows in spite of himself.

“Just a mo'!” She stood, one boot on, one boot off. “I'm not going to bed with you if you're just trying to keep some silly streak alive.” She crossed her arms over her chest, which only had the effect of emphasizing her small, firm breasts. 

“No, no, no... Look, I had this friend once, Jack. Wanted to sleep with practically everyone he could get his hands on, including me.”

“Did he?”

“If you're very good, I'll tell you later. But my point is, for him, it wasn't as though he was willing to sleep with just anyone. He genuinely thought that most people were beautiful people. Even if they didn't, he saw the beauty in them, and, frankly, brought it out of them more often than not. It's sort of the same for me.”

“You're a slut?”

“No! Possibly.” He sighed. “The people I like to travel with tend to be clever, and compassionate, and caring, and brave. And usually young, and somewhat athletic. Lots of running in this business. Which means they tend to be fairly good-looking. And as it happens, the sort of people I want to travel with is the same sort of people I want to take to bed. So yes, I have shagged a lot of the people who have traveled with me. But not because I'm playing some silly game or because there's some sort of cabin fever effect—although I could run a study...Anyway! It's because I choose to journey only with wonderful, beautiful people, and you, Clara Oswald, are a wonderful, beautiful, person.” He kissed her after he said each of those last three words.

“So you think I'm clever, compassionate, caring, brave, wonderful, and beautiful?” she asked, undoing a shirt button with each adjective. “Did I miss any?”

“Athletic, I think.”

“So I did,” she agreed as she undid his fly. She grinned at him. “Now, if I remember rightly, you were going to regale me with some tales of your past sex exploits—Sexploits!—if I was good.” She nibbled on his earlobe and whispered. “So let's find out how good I can be...and just how bad you've been.”

“I, um, erm. Ahem.” he concluded as she pushed him, limbs flailing and tangling in his half-removed clothes, back onto the bed. “Guess I'll just start at the top of my current streak, I suppose.” He sighed with the weight of memory and of Clara resting her hands on his chest as she continued to lick and kiss and exhale ever so gently on his ear. “Hadn't realized that was an erogenous zone in this body,” he murmured. “I had the biggest ears when I first met Rose and Jack. She hardly teased me about them at all, unlike some people I might mention.”

“I tease because I love,” she replied, sing-song, planting a kiss on his chin as it jutted into the air.

“I suppose I really owe Jack a favor for talking Rose and I into bed together,” he began. “I fancied her almost from day one, but I never really planned on doing anything about it, almost because I loved her so much.”

“Don't mind me trying not to be too jealous over here,” Clara nipped at the sharp protrusion of his collarbone. 

“Sorry...But really, don't be. I'm a different man twice over by now...and I may have dumped her in an alternate universe with a half-human clone of my later self.”

“Right, right. Less maudlin reminiscing, more sexy talk. You can cry on my shoulder later.”

“You were the one who wanted me to relive my past sexual and romantic experiences. I can't help it if they all turned out rubbish.” He sighed, but he'd had enough time to let the wounds scar over, and with Clara's warm fingers helping him out of his shirt and tracing up and down his bony arms, he was soon back in the mood. “We used to take turns being in the middle, of course. With Jack behind me—all witty, confident muscle—and Rose in front of me, just this vision of pure, uncomplicated lust and adoration...deep in the bowels of the TARDIS and tucked between the two of them, I don't think I've ever felt safer.” He shuddered a bit as she drew one of his fingertips into her mouth. “Jack was the one with the clever tongue and more experience then the rest of my companions put together—he wasn't even immortal yet. Even taught me a few things. Rose was more exuberance and innocence. I think she spoiled me...even after she was gone, she clouded the rest of that regeneration's time with his companions. Not that I didn't fuck them, but they still deserved better.”

“Doctor,” she cautioned him as she flicked her tongue over his nipple.

“Yes, quite right,” he moaned. “Mm, now, Martha Jones: there was a woman who knew what she wanted. Never could quite get up the emotional intimacy to match the physical intimacy...but boy, did we have the physical intimacy. She was a doctor in her own right and figured out where all the little nerve clusters and pulse points and ticklish places were. Ticklish places not really a technical term, I suppose. Still! Martha Jones. Enviable commitment to empiricism. Very thorough survey.”

Clara grinned and stroked his ribcage. “Any chance that that data is still available? I might like to see if Dr. Jones's results are repeatable.”

He laughed and raised his hips as she helped him out of his trousers. “Sorry, Clara. New body. Every single cell changed since then. No telling how I'll feel. She's actually doing quite well for herself; I still run into her from time to time, including one time with my next companion, Donna. They were a bit jealous of each other at first.”

Clara adopted a mock pout and crossed her arms again. The Doctor really wished she'd take that dress off already. “I can understand not wanting to share. Mind, I could probably be convinced. Especially if she was pretty. Was she pretty, Doctor? Donna, I mean.” If the Doctor reacted at all to that combination of words he did not show it. She slid her hand up underneath her dress and peeled off her knickers. “I bet she was,” she continued as her hand vanished once again. 

“I don't know that I thought so at first.” Unlike with you. “She took me a bit by surprise, just appearing in the TARDIS.” Surprising. More Clara's style. “But we grew on each other. Very quickly. And she and Martha hit it off at once.”

“Did you watch them, Doctor? Did you watch them together?”

“I might have.” He wanted badly to reach out and touch her, taste her, bury himself in her. But she was kneeling astride his legs far enough down that he could neither reach her nor easily clamber to a sitting position. And so he was forced to watch as her nipples stood out through the fabric of her dress, which clung to her above the waist and flared out in billows to conceal whatever it was she was doing between her legs with her hands. He could just smell a whiff of her wetness, could feel the warmth of her on his shins. “All black and orange, like tigers wrestling and biting and licking, two gorgeous, deadly tigresses, battling, sinking their claws and fangs in to where they could do the most...damage.” He watched as Clara's eyelids fluttered and she came. He licked his lips, knowing the effect his words had had on her, not knowing what she would do next. “And then they would tease me, torment me. Minutes at a time.”

“Minutes!” Clara laughed. “I thought you were going to say days. Hours at least, or some sort of alien time unit.”

“Look, when you're used to jumping through time and space, through an endless parade of the good bits, the exciting bits...even a few minutes of standing still feels like an eternity. Especially when there are things I want within reach.”

“Do you want me?” Clara asked. “Mmm, no, don't answer that yet.” She winked at him and bobbed her head. “Keep going, then. Who's next?” she asked just before she took him into her mouth.

“Just two more if you don't count my wife. Ex-wife? Dead now—I think? Possibly she hasn't married me yet. Maybe you'll meet her later.” He sighed as she glared at him. “Look, it's very complicated, and we weren't exactly strictly monogamous at the best of times, so don't worry about it.”

“She isn't going to erase me from existence, is she? Because the sex would have to be very good to make that worthwhile.” She toyed with his balls with one hand while she rubbed the other over his head.

“I don't think so.” He squinted. “I'd probably remember if she'd gotten into the habit of preventing my lovers from ever existing. And I should know, because Rory did get erased from existence, and I still remembered him. Of course, we weren't sleeping together at the time, though he did take the news that I had kissed his fiance rather better than I might have expected. No, it really wasn't until after he and Amy had gotten married that I really started shagging them. Well, mostly he and I shagging Amy. Well, more often than not Amy shagging both of us. But we certainly mixed things up, my Ponds.”

“Kinky,” Clara said approvingly, coming up for air. “Did you like that, letting a girl fuck you?”

“Might have done,” he replied as she (finally, blissfully) pulled her dress up over her head and tossed it into a corner of the bedroom.

“Oh good,” she said with a wink as she adjusted her grip on him and guided his shaft inside of her. “I'll hold you to that,” she went on; the Doctor was too distracted as she rode him and guided his hands up to fondle her breasts—full only by the standards of her petite frame, but still perfectly pleasurable. 

“It's possible that I may have neglected what I did after having been teased,” he breathed, seconds before rolling Clara onto her back. 

“Oh! Doctor...Please?” she asked him at last before a moan escaped her lips and she dragged her fingernails down his back as he filled her. “Mm...I see what you mean about being restless and impatient. Not that I minded terribly.”

“Oh, Clara, Clara, Clara. So clever, but I suppose I didn't really give you enough to guess.” He kissed her. “That was just round one.” He kissed her again before working his way down her body to the neatly-trimmed black triangle between her legs.

Clara moaned and hoped that whatever adventures lay ahead for tomorrow, they didn't start until noon at least.

Some nights later...

“Doctor?” Clara asked, pulling the sheets up to her waist. “Do you remember how you said that you slept with almost all of your companions?”

If the Doctor hadn't been flushed with exertion, he would have blushed. “Yes.”

“And do you remember how I got myself split into thousands of copies along every point in your time-stream?”

“Yes,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “I owe you my life thousands of times over, my brave, beautiful Clara.”

“Well...” she grinned. “Now I've slept with all of your companions.”

His jaw dropped. “Even Susan?”

“Says the man who hooked up with a girl and then her daughter.” Clara smirked. “But yes, even Susan. And, for that matter, even me.” The Doctor stammered helplessly. “Doctor, there are, as nearly as I can count, over 50,000 of us running around the stars. Not all of them died saving you. She wasn't very hard to convince.”

“No, I suppose not.” He paused, and brushed a floppy lock of hair from his eyes. “Hang on, and you didn't let me join in?” 

“Didn't know if you'd be interested,” Clara said, mock-innocent. 

“Pretty much every bloke from here to Raxacoricofallapatorius fancies the idea of having a go with a pair of twins.”

“I can't blame them, then.” She curled up around the Doctor, who was bemused and in a bit of a pout. “Don't fret, you.” She kissed him. “I'll make it up to you in the morning.”

“My brave, beautiful Clara...what am I to do with you?..” he murmured as they dozed.


End file.
